Chain Mail

So. Recently, I got sent a particular piece of chain mail that irritated me to the point where I felt like I JUST HAD TO GO ONLINE AND TELL PEOPLE ON THE NET ABOUT IT. Because you know, you all care so very, very much.

Anyway, the chain mail in question was one about how you totally shouldn’t drink and drive, because this one girl who didn’t, thats right, she didn’t, she got totally killed by some guy who was like, totally drunk and stuff? It’s all written in the form of some exceedingly shitty poetry, my someone who has rather a fragile grasp on the ideas of rhyme and metre, and it’s interspersed with flashes of bright green text.

Now, lets just take that first part to bits here, shall we? Firstly, the girl who didn’t drink and drive got killed. Thats right, the person who did the right thing got completely fucked in your preachy little story. It’s not said but it’s certainly assumed that the other driver is fine, which means that in the galactic score of car crashes, that’s plus one for drunken-ness over sobriety, which means that your shitty little poem is aiming at the wrong audience. People are, at heart, selfish little bastards, and they’d always, always rather a stranger die than them. The drunk driver is  probably depressed, but at least he’s alive. Meanwhile, Little Miss Sober is quite dead, and while she’s certainly not depressed, I’m fairly certain she would have rather not been dead. Not that we can ask, because she’s dead.

Also, screw your entire fucking pretentious attitude towards the topic. Were this a topic such as illegal drug use, then yeah, I’d be fine with it. But alcohol is a legal drug, and it’s  a massively used legal drug. In fact, it’s so massively used that, why, shock horror, it’s become socially acceptable to do it! Isn’t ait such a pity that our society has degraded to the point where people can ENJOY theirselves LEGALLY? Why, as an offended person, you must do something about it! As a MOTHER, you have a responsibility to! Because having a child legally exempts you from ever being wrong ever about anything even remotely connected to your child!

But thats a topic for another day. The main reason I’m writing about this is the bit that was tagged on at the end. The reason I didn’t copy and paste the whole thing was because the entire thing is infected with stupidity, but I feel that I can quarantine this small part enough for you to safely read it.

“If you receive this petition and do nothing but delete it, your selfishness knows no bounds ..
Signing is such a small effort to make.
After you have read the poem, please add your name at the bottom. And never forget,
DON’T EVER DRINK AND DRIVE , not even once, thinking that it won’t matter.
IT DEFINITELY WILL MATTER!!!”

Thats it up there, in all its shittily formatted glory. Now, the core that started all of this was the line “If you do not forward this petition, your selfishness knows no bounds”. Now, listen here you stupid fucking lady, and you listen good. My selfishness is no greater than anyone elses. My will to help my fellow man is just about normal. What is deeply below average is to stomach pretentious bullshit.

After you write a poem which preaches to me about some idiotic girl who think’s she’s too high and mighty to drink, and then praise yourself within it to the point where it’s basically just a hype piece for you, then you no longer get to talk about selfishness. You cannot talk about selfishness, because your entire fucking organization is called Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, and your express purpose is to bitch about the fact that YOUR lives were changed by drunk drivers.

And now, I look like a dick, because thanks to you, I come out looking like I support drunk drivers, and I want people to get hit by cars. Let it be known, I don’t want to kill people. I don’t want people to lose their daughters, and I feel bad for them. But when people have the fucking GALL to bitch and moan about how it’s effecting them, make an accusatory, pretentious email, and then call ME selfish, I get angry.